My hubby is a stellar Dad, one of the naturally good with kids men, who make life as a mom easier because of all that he does. He'll run out in the middle of a pack of kids, entertaining them for hours with street hockey or pretending to be super heroes sliming bad guys and I so love that about him. I would never say anything against dads, because they are just as important as the moms and so very necessary in the growth and well being of our children. That being said, the following joke struck my funny bone and I just had to share. For the moms, you are the bomb and I still can't believe how any of us do it all and stay sane.
THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES
Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.
Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.
There is no fast food.
Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of "pretend" bills with not enough money.
In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.
Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives and send cards out on time.
Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and to a haircut appointment. He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care (weekend, evening, on a holiday or right when they're about to leave for vacation).
He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.
Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.
The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. Each father will be required to know all of the words to every stupid song that comes on TV and the name of each and every character on cartoons.
Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.
Each man must adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep their nails polished and eyebrows groomed. The men must try to get through each day without snot, spit-up or barf on their clothing.
They must attend weekly school meetings and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.
He will need to read a book to the children each night without falling asleep, and then feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair each morning by 7:00. They must leave the home with no food on their face or clothes.
A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite colour, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.
They must clean up after their sick children at 2:00 a.m. and then spend the remainder of the day tending to that child and waiting on them hand and foot until they are better.
They must have a loving, age appropriate reply to, "You're not the boss of me".
The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.
1 comment:
Mmm… that’s good satire. There are very few men who can knowingly wake up everyday to the ever-changing job description that a homemaker adjusts to on the go; The pressing last minute things thrown into the mix of what has become an exact science to us, to adapt make adjustments and as smoothly as possible to overcome these changes as incidentally as they have come. Only an expert can even realize how complicated a woman’s job as a homemaker really is. Thanks for the smile and the laugh… I needed a pick-me-up.
-Lilly
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