Chocolate Etiquette

The day following the holiday of hearts is always daunting in any office. For the office kitchen, coffee nook, or water cooler is the usual repository of all the unwanted chocolates and candy brought home by the kids and sent by marketers or vendors in the hopes of one more ditch attempt to garner business. This load of intoxicating and sinful sweets is brought in by those who are sticking to their post Christmas regime and is typically set upon by the rest of us who have already faced reality and the fact that there is no way in hell that bikini is getting on our widening derriere by summer anyhow.


So, faced with the heart shaped box of See’s in an office kitchen, there is a certain etiquette expected. You didn’t know? Well, let me assure you, there is most definitely a certain type of behavior around this truckload of chocolate that is expected and dare I say demanded.


For example, do you sneak in; take all the ones covered with chocolate sprinkles, knowing they’re the best, leaving the wasteland of nut and coconut centers for the rest of the unsuspecting imbibers? Or is it possible you are the one who leaves all the wrappers in the box? Did you know some chocolate ‘monitors’ (they are watching, don’t think they aren’t) expect you to take the wrapper with you for each piece of candy you eat? And, oh the horror, being found to have taken the last scrumptious bit of chocolate and leaving a box of empty wrappers would be the lowest of all lows. This rates right up there with taking someone else’s lunch from the communal refrigerator.


And what about the mystery chocolates? Godiva puts a chocolate glossary in their box to warn those of us who can’t stomach cherry cordial of any form. But what about See’s or those plain wrap brands you find at the Drug Store? You’re taking your taste buds for a little mystery ride when you bite into one of those unlabeled concoctions. If you don’t happen to like coconut or that pink stuff….what is that anyway? I’ve never been able to figure it out. The worst faux pas of all is to put that half eaten piece of mystery chocolate back in the box! What were you thinking? You didn’t want to waste it? You couldn’t be pushed to walk over to the trash can? One of my office moms (every good office has one) would cut every piece in the box in half before she put it in the kitchen. Kinda took the fun out of it but you knew what you were getting.


So, next time you attack that monstrous mound of left over treats, remember to take that frilly brown or gold wrapper with you. You can always use them to build a little wrapper pyramid at your desk. At least you could imagine it’s something akin to watching what or at least how much you’ve eaten.