I recently signed up for my first triathalon. Now, I'm not kidding myself. I'm ridiculously out of shape, overweight and in the middle of tax season with relatively little time in the workout schedule. I've signed up mainly as a goal. I want exercising to be something more than... "Gee, my ass looks slightly less giggly today than it did the last ten thousand times I glanced in the mirror" I'm pragmatic about body image these days. When my first stretch mark appeared those many years ago, I mourned. I howled to the gods of bodily perfection. I wept for the loss of my perfect body. Okay, so I never thought it was perfect but looking back 20 years it was damned hot compared to the current state of affairs left by the warring tides of age, gravity and poor choices. I'm resigned to relying on my sparkly personality and off key wit these days.
So, back to the triathalon. I had thought to have a wonderful goal to spur my efforts at a healthy physique. After all, as we enter middle age our sights should be turning from exercise as an image booster to exercise as a life lengthening pursuit. My grandfather lived to be 90 but he sat in his easy chair most days and only shuffled with aching slowness to the kitchen or the bathroom those last few years. If I'm going to live to a ripe old age I want to be spry in body and soul and enjoy the time.
So, my brother and I signed up. While I was signing up I had to answer some harrowing questions. Sex...buxomly Female, thank you very much! Age....eh, no biggie, I'm still in the running. Weight...oh, the nerve! And then the piece de resistance...category Athena?!?
Well, for those of you not up on the categories of racing, I will enlighten you. Any man over a certain weight is considered a Clydesdale (How cruel is that for a name??) and any woman over 150 lbs is considered an Athena. 150 lbs? I think one of my thighs is over that weight by itself. Any one under the 'chosen' weight is classed by age, to be judged with their peers. Apparently, all of us with romanesque figures need to be separated. It's not enough to rank us simply by our fading years...but by the size of our derrieres as well!
Now, if I were a man I'd be waxing judgemental on the chosen category of Clydesdale, which has got to be a put down I would think, but then I'm not a guy. Perhaps most men would relate it to the Budweiser Clydesdale team and be thrilled that they were being compared to massive horses hauling beer...odder things have happened.
However I'm female and apparently categorized "Athena" so that's where my thought goes. When looking up the Goddess Athena in the Wikipedia, this is what I found.
In Greek mythology, Athena (Greek: Ἀθηνᾶ, Athēnâ, or Ἀθήνη, Athénē; Doric: Ἀσάνα, Asána) was the goddess of civilization, specifically wisdom, weaving, crafts and the allegedly more noble side of war, as violence and bloodlust were Ares' domain. Athena's wisdom encompasses the technical knowledge employed in weaving, metal-working, but also includes the cunning intelligence of such figures as Odysseus. The owl and the olive tree are sacred to her. She is attended by an owl, is wearing a goatskin breastplate called the Aegis given to her by her father, Zeus,[1] and is accompanied by the goddess of victory, Nike.
Now, how is it that being wise is related to being fat? My other thought is that if Athena was attended by Nike, the goddess of Victory, I'm thinking those of us that are pleasingly plump are looking good for finishing ahead of the pack!
So, back to the triathalon. I had thought to have a wonderful goal to spur my efforts at a healthy physique. After all, as we enter middle age our sights should be turning from exercise as an image booster to exercise as a life lengthening pursuit. My grandfather lived to be 90 but he sat in his easy chair most days and only shuffled with aching slowness to the kitchen or the bathroom those last few years. If I'm going to live to a ripe old age I want to be spry in body and soul and enjoy the time.
So, my brother and I signed up. While I was signing up I had to answer some harrowing questions. Sex...buxomly Female, thank you very much! Age....eh, no biggie, I'm still in the running. Weight...oh, the nerve! And then the piece de resistance...category Athena?!?
Well, for those of you not up on the categories of racing, I will enlighten you. Any man over a certain weight is considered a Clydesdale (How cruel is that for a name??) and any woman over 150 lbs is considered an Athena. 150 lbs? I think one of my thighs is over that weight by itself. Any one under the 'chosen' weight is classed by age, to be judged with their peers. Apparently, all of us with romanesque figures need to be separated. It's not enough to rank us simply by our fading years...but by the size of our derrieres as well!
Now, if I were a man I'd be waxing judgemental on the chosen category of Clydesdale, which has got to be a put down I would think, but then I'm not a guy. Perhaps most men would relate it to the Budweiser Clydesdale team and be thrilled that they were being compared to massive horses hauling beer...odder things have happened.
However I'm female and apparently categorized "Athena" so that's where my thought goes. When looking up the Goddess Athena in the Wikipedia, this is what I found.
In Greek mythology, Athena (Greek: Ἀθηνᾶ, Athēnâ, or Ἀθήνη, Athénē; Doric: Ἀσάνα, Asána) was the goddess of civilization, specifically wisdom, weaving, crafts and the allegedly more noble side of war, as violence and bloodlust were Ares' domain. Athena's wisdom encompasses the technical knowledge employed in weaving, metal-working, but also includes the cunning intelligence of such figures as Odysseus. The owl and the olive tree are sacred to her. She is attended by an owl, is wearing a goatskin breastplate called the Aegis given to her by her father, Zeus,[1] and is accompanied by the goddess of victory, Nike.
Now, how is it that being wise is related to being fat? My other thought is that if Athena was attended by Nike, the goddess of Victory, I'm thinking those of us that are pleasingly plump are looking good for finishing ahead of the pack!
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