Right on the heels of baring my soul with the story about my curves which are bustin' out all over, here is the story behind becoming a nudist. It is timely because this weekend I will be spending most, if not all, of the holiday weekend "memorializing and making merry" in my birthday suit. I have mentioned being a nudey but I've never set pen to paper (or sat at my computer going clickety clickety) about how a shy, curvy, accountant type like myself got acquainted with this particular pastime.
If someone had told me, before I shucked my drawers, that I would be one of the few to bare it all in public I would have had them committed. As I mentioned in my last post, I have had a long and less than stellar love/hate relationship with body image. I am the last person on the planet to say, "Oh baby, I'm hot....look at me!!" Why, in the name of all that is sane, would I want to 'let it all hang out' in broad daylight?
The chain of events in this unlikely history begins with my mother-in-law, oddly enough. Now, Marna is not like any other mother-in-law. This 5 foot and not much more, dynamo of a woman has, since the day I met her added spark to my life. She has been married 4 times, the last husband was younger than all her kids except one. The first three husbands all passed away of natural causes after she divorced them. The fact that she's outlived the first three was such a joke in the family that the last hubby refused to grant her a divorce for years claiming he would die if he did. Gordy, was a party in and of himself. Not much taller than Marna, with a thick seemingly Scottish brogue that earned him the nickname "Leprechaun" by some in the family, though he's Canadian through and through. The two of them would spend half the year in a Canadian cabin buried in snow while Gordy worked the pipeline, the other half they would enjoy the eternal vacation in California close to family.
Needless to say, it was these two eccentrics that led us to the nudey camp. They started going out to "The Camp" and brought back stories of fun times and amazingly nice people. Then my hubby's uncle and aunt jumped ship. What was going on out there? It seemed the sickness was spreading! Finally, my hubby went out. Being his mother's son, he loved it. A bit of an adjustment had to be made to go buck naked with mom around but he got past it. Meanwhile, I'm still sitting at home, grabbing another sweater and knee high socks to cover up any signs of skin.
I gave the idea due consideration and after deliberating one nanosecond decided, no bloody way I'm dropping trou with a group of strangers. I don't care how many people in my family are doing it!
But then, how long do you think you would let your hubby go to a nudist camp without you? Now, he's going with family, it's harmless. I trust him, that's never been an issue. But still....everyone's naked out there! The mind keeps working and working.
Short story long, it took me three years. The Marna contingent would go every summer and at least once a summer off my hubby would go with them. Okay, fine. I don't go on roller coasters with him, we can have separate interests. I am not taking my clothes off until I lose some of this weight...damn it. I am going to be one fine, hot momma before anyone but my husband sees me in my skivvies!
Well, about this time the nudey friends were infiltrating the family. Marna and Gordy's nudey buddies began to come to family parties. The shocking part of it... with their clothes on, those nudeys look just like us!
Finally, the last straw fell. My girlfriend Kerri went out...and loved it. She told me she had never felt so comfortable around other people in her life. She mentioned how amazingly open these people were and how you had no way to judge someone by their clothes, jewelry, standing in society, etc. when they weren't wearing anything. Good point.
Then again Kerri is a free spirit, very much like Marna. Fun loving and not at all shy, I rather expected she would love the freedom of it. The only time they use the word 'free' describing me is when I do family members taxes no charge.
One evening we were having a family get together. One of the 'nudey' friends and I were talking. She is a big girl. She is one of those boisterous women with an infectious laugh and a heart big enough to match the kickin' size of the junk in her trunk. She gets teased about the size of her booty all the time. Actually more the shape of it. If you look at her sideways there is almost a shelf there where you could set your drink. I ask her how she decided to become a nudist. She told me much the same story I was living. She had a boyfriend who started going out and she knew she'd better make her peace with it or get going. She told me she drove out to the camp and sat outside the gates for over an hour. Finally, she took the plunge and went in. She said it had been the best decision of her life. Her self esteem knew no bounds after that. The boyfriend didn't last long but now she had friends for life.
Another year goes by... tick tock.
The next summer I've had about enough of this. By now I'm just flat disgusted with myself. I'm still fat. 95% percent of the wardrobe for the lower half of my body is black. Just love that slimming black. I have no more excuses and can't face another weekend alone wondering why I'm so freaked about being naked. It's just skin. We all have the same body parts...don't we?
Friday afternoon hubby and I both get home from work. I packed... uh... sunscreen. Told him, I'm ready to go...let's go, don't ask me any questions...start the car NOW. I hate anticipation. Do it, don't think about it anymore!
Off we went. The strangest thing happened when I got there. I went in...and I loved it! The weirdest thing happens to your perception of the word 'normal.' After going in the gates, everyone I saw was naked except me. Suddenly, I stood out like a complete oddity. I quickly stripped down...just to blend in.
I have met the nicest, most non-judgmental, open, fun people. It's the best. So, the next time someone asks you to do something you think you will NEVER do...just remember, you may be missing the time of your life.
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